Tag Archives: cloudy

Wilting

Wilted Rose

I’m sinking. Wilting. Fading fast.  Whatever you want to call it.  I’m overwhelmed and I’m not even sure by what.  I have too much to do but no motivation to even start.  So I don’t do anything.  Or I do the things I want to do, but only the ones that I don’t think will take up too much time.

It’s a lot like when I had a project due at school.  I would pick up my clothes because it only took a few minutes, so I could put off working without feeling too bad about it.  Until I had so much to do that even the easy things would slide.  I know it’s getting bad when I stop making my bed.  Like this morning.  Even a venti latte from Starbucks could not pull me out of my funk.

It’s crazy – I’m doing all these fun things that I enjoy, and I should be having a great time.  I see friends, I join groups, I go for walks and on adventures.  But when I wake up in the morning, I feel like a zombie.  All the fun on the weekends means that I have to fit in chores after work, and my lovely commute pushes that back about 40 minutes.  So if it’s cloudy, I don’t have sunlight left to run when I get home even if I DO find the motivation to do that.

I’m having trouble balancing the things I need to do with the things I want to do.

Want: write blog posts; Need: do laundry

Want: learn new things by listening to radio programs and podcasts, reading blogs and books; Need: Sleep

Want: go running; Need: eat

Want: make healthy meals; Need: drive home from work

Want: read a book (did you know that I can’t remember the last time I read a book!  From the kid who habitually ran into kids in the hallway because I had my nose in a book, that’s pretty awful); Need: wash the dishes

Want: travel; Need: go to work.

I need a better way to make time for the things that I want without always feeling like I’m drowning in the things I need to do.  And perhaps I need to re-prioritize the things in my life that I want and need to do – to minimize in my whole life, not just my possessions (which I haven’t been doing, by the way).  Uggh.

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